Such a joke that everytime I return to this space, I am facing the same things.

Enough is enough. Dear parents, don’t you think it is high time to stop all your nonsense? Today in church, I remember a segment where Senior Ps talked about not putting pressure on children. That parents should sometimes put down their pride and make an effort to apologise to children for past hurts. And instantly, my mind wired to the both of you. When was the last time you ever acknowledged that you were in the wrong?

I had, many times. Even when it wasn’t my fault, I still apologised in the end because I knew what was respect. But both of you? 

I remember this saying about living with people for a long period of time, you’ll start to see the ugly side of them, the part of them that they keep hidden from the rest of the world. That’s what exactly you are doing aren’t you? No, trying to project a happy image of this family DOESNT WORK ANYMORE because in the first place, it bloody isn’t true. I am sick of seeing both of you acting so harmonious in front of other people. Like I said, enough is enough. Why be so hypocritical?

You, I really think I’m seeing more of your ugly attitude as each day passess. I know you like to feel in control of everything around you, but don’t overstep boundaries and try to control people’s lives. So what if she’s from Philippines? You think she’s more inferior than you that’s why you can boss her around? Its her off day for goodness sake, just let her have a break one day out of a fortnight, is that so much to ask? But even if she comes home an hour late you keep talking about it and complaining. Get a life la pls. Your extremely sarcastic comments doesn’t help one single bit, even my 10 year old brother knows better than you. Stop, stop imposing your insecurities on to everybody else. You think there’s nothing wrong, but A HELL ALOT is wrong with you. I’m sorry, sometimes I’m really disappointed to know that this is the kind of mother I have. Maybe that’s the reason I can’t even have a proper relationship with you. The way you talk just makes it impossible to sustain even a normal conversation with you. Since when have you done your part, really?

You, sigh. I love you as a father figure but I think sometimes you need to think before you speak as well. When will you get it that scolding =/= caring?! Stop scolding my brother. I think he’s old enough to think for himself, and so am I. Stop trying to maintain such strict control over people and expect that they do your bidding. Never gonna happen. I’ve felt restricted ALL MY LIFE. And I think this really has to stop. Bad experiences doesn’t entitle you to impose martial law on your own kids, alright? 

This is just a really bad Sunday. Really really sad. Sometimes (or all the time) I wish this fmaily wasn’t so screwed up. I am so sick of it. It’s so hard to love both of you, when both of you dont even seem to be putting in effort. Think before you speak. I really wonder whether you see this as your family at all. Obviously we aren’t important to you. Bullshit about family being priority and all those nonsense, it just isn’t true. 

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