Archive for November, 2011

Security.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29, 2011 by makeasimplewish

You once made me feel like even if the whole world judged me, it wouldn’t matter because I had you. And you wouldn’t judge.
People who know me probably know I hate people who judge, especially when they think they know everything but they’re just grasping the tips of straws. It’s judgement passed around that makes the world such an ugly place.
You gave me security in this ugly place, but that was a long time ago. Why have you left me to fend for myself? :(

Protected: Standing in the rain.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 27, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Protected: Yes I miss you.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 26, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Protected: !!!

Posted in Uncategorized on November 21, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Protected: Seriously, parents?

Posted in Uncategorized on November 18, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Protected: In another life, another time.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 14, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Day of the year.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 11, 2011 by makeasimplewish

Welcome the weekends :)
Supposedly this blog is for rants only, but I seem to be returning to this space daily. Provides a certain sort of comfort yea.

It’s wonderful to know that there are always people around you that can cheer you up, that you can pour out your troubles to, and best of all knowing they won’t judge you. I can’t trust easily, so its really rare for me to really share personally with people.

Sigh, I really wonder where you are. I miss our conversations. :(
But I need to set my priorities right. Exams are coming up in a week, and I will glorify God with my results.

Goodnight everybody. It somehow comforts me that we share the same stars. Maybe we are close right now afterall..

Like a flower.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 10, 2011 by makeasimplewish

I’m getting increasingly scared of these supposedly growing feelings.
What if what I’ve been trying to avoid is actually true? What then?
I need to stop thinking. Get my priorities right. What would you think if you knew, I don’t dare imagine.
All of this is staying this way, I’ll make sure.

Sigh, why is the human mind so complex? Hard to understand.

On replay.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 10, 2011 by makeasimplewish

Please, please, somebody reassure me that the past isn’t going to repeat itself again. The big uncertain possibility is staring me right in the face, challenging me to change things if I had the ability to, but truth is, I don’t want to know or try because I am scared. I am fearful of the outcome. I got hurt once and up till now I don’t know what I did to screw up that friendship. And now, when another valuable one has entered my life, I don’t want to let it leave again. But by myself, what can I do? Why is this always happening to me!?!

I need to calm down, tell myself everything is fine, and then stop expecting for things that might not happen. Expectations are driving me crazy. 

Protected: Wish you were here.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Protected: DAMN ANGRY.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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Routinely.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 7, 2011 by makeasimplewish

Seems like these few nights, I can’t fall asleep unless I unload my thoughts here. If this turns into a habit it might not be a bad thing afterall, because like this there’ll be less stuff on my mind.

Today that same skipping heartbeat came again after I saw what you sent me. It may be a simple greeting, but it was enough for me. It’s funny how I prefer small gestures of concern rather than big ones that attract attention. Not saying that one triumphs over the other, just that no one really does significant stuff specially for me, so when it happens, I get so overjoyed.

I find myself sucked into the past more and more nowadays. It’s like being old and reminiscing on the past, but I find it a tad too frequent for my liking now. Things have to slow down, the past isn’t going to relieve itself once again. It never will.

God has been good so far, I enjoyed my long weekend. Back to school for me tomorrow, and I should be sleeping now because I have dg early in the morning tomorrow. Maybe these thoughts will fade with time. Goodnight everybody.

Itchy fingers.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 6, 2011 by makeasimplewish

Suspense always turn out to be not that big of a deal. Am happy to talk to you, but at the same time, I feel so insensitive for intruding on your personal space. Maybe I should have thought about this before my fingers pressed the send button. Too late now to take the messages back though, I just hope I didn’t impose on you. But yet at the same time I hope we get to talk a bit tonight still …

And note to self, find some other ways to rectify your itchy hand problem the next time.

And the second time.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 5, 2011 by makeasimplewish

Waiting for you isn’t going to make things currently better but I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t want to take the initiative to start a conversation, not because you won’t reply, you definitely will in fact, but I don’t want to give in. Call me selfish, but I don’t always want to be the one to start everything first. The past weeks have made it easier though, learning about patience and endurance have made me less clingy and worried, and I guess that’s positive.

I want to talk to you, so badly. I want to tell you what’s going on in my life right now, how I’ve changed for the better, how I’m not the naive girl I used to be years ago. Time has passed, everyone has grown older, and I have learnt to think more in depth. Not stupid anymore, not trusting, not willing to open my heart to just anybody out there. I’m guarded now, but every time I see you I just want to be able to recognize that glimmer of humour in your eyes just like how it was before. I miss how you used to acknowledged me with warm gazes, instead of just polite smiles now. That part of my heart is still empty, its been that way ever since we drifted apart, and its calling out for you everytime I see you, hoping you would return and our friendship could somehow be restored. Maybe in this aspect, I am still a foolish, daft little girl because I’m trusting in something that may well likely never happen. But I do miss you so, so badly. And I’m certain that won’t change.

Disclaimer says I’m talking about two different issues here. One is the past, one is the present. Go draw a parallel, because as ironic as it seems, there is a similarity in this complex difference.

Goodnight everybody.

Protected: Tonight.

Posted in Uncategorized on November 4, 2011 by makeasimplewish

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